Alienated

Things felt different.
The friendship felt iffy.
Well truth is
The friendship has all ways felt that way.
But now,
It feels like were in a new path
Walking farther away.
But its a friendship,
So It was bound to happen.
It was bound to lead this way.
But I was curious as to why.
So I had to ask her.
What's gone wrong with us?
What's gone sour in this friendship?
Simple questions I thought would be easy to answer.
I didn't know what I said wrong.
But she turned and tears started to fall.
Puzzled before
But now far fetched
And desperate for an answer.
I stood there in complete confusion.
She started to speak.
Regardless of the tears she had flowing out.

She said,
Its just that.
I love you like crazy
And I've wanted nuttin more than to be that queen by your side.
I've wanted to be your queen or even your ride or die chick.
ANYONE!
Just be by your side.
I've told you that.
I've expressed that soo many times to you.
But you just continue to push my feelings out.
You continue to push my heart out.
I painfully held my heart hoping that one day,
Someday soon.
You'd finally accept it.
But that's all came to a crashing halt.
It all came to a destructive explosion to my heart.
That day you introduced me to your new girlfriend.
Since than,
I've felt as if love betrayed me.
I felt as tho my heart just ceased to exist.
It had nuttin to beat for
And crying was the only way I could release the pain.
I'm sorry for the tears.
I'm sorry for the distance being placed between us.
But its what's best for me.
Cause you never seemed to see what was best for me.
Which was you.
But now I've got to let go.
And adjust to it all.

Randomosity #35

Just cause I'm valentines less
Doesn't mean I'm heartless
I'm just loveless
No one to love for today that is
Sure I can get someone right away
But it wouldn't feel the same way
If I spent it with you today
But since I can't have my way
Since I can't be with you
Nor have you today
I'll close my eyes
And picture that we ran away
Gone for a simple getaway
Leaving everything here
As we make our way there
Where exactly?
Who knows
Any where cloud nine takes us
A make believe land
Or a reality paradise where they'll pamper us
Either way we'll be there
For valentines
We'll end up staying days longer than we should
Just us
You and me
Relaxing and spending time together as we should
To think
With out you near me
I can close my eyes
And picture us there
So for valentines day
I'll be valentines less
I'll be your unofficial valentines

Randomosity #36

You see,
Now cause of you.
I'm paranoid.
I'm scared and all ways think
Am I handsome enough?
Am I smart enough?
Is my life even up to par to be excepted into someone elses life?
You honestly do not know
What you've done to me.
For years I've managed to
Hide my feelings from the world.
I've managed to keep my heartache away from others.
But I can't any longer.
This pain is just too much to handle any more.
The strongest man can't withstand the pain that exist within him.
But I try my best to over come my pain.
I do my best to try and overcome this thing for you.
I'm doing my best to overcome
All that's been brought from you.
You've done your damage.
You've surely left your mark.
I can't trust others any more.
I'm afraid to let anyone into my heart now.

RANDOMOSITY #34

The things you'd do for me.
The countless amount of obstacles you'd subject your self to.
All just for me.
Makes me wonder just what would u do.
For you?
I know you care for me.
I know the boundaries
And limits you'll go for me.
But I wonder what it is you'd do for your self?
I wonder what grounds
You'll travel.
What obstacles you'll go thru
Just for your self.
I know I mean something to you.
But what do you mean to your self?
Can you love your self the same as you loved me?

Karma

She's fed up.
And she's had enough.
She told you how she felt.
She gave you hints
And told you the truth on how her heart felt.
All just for you.
But you ignored her.
You gave her constant neglect on the acceptance she's been needing.
She's had enough
Of your constant disrespect
And your abusive neglect.
She opened her mouth
And you shunned her out.
She tried many times
Looking over your on slought.
But she'd had enough.
It took her long
Just to move on.
But she left you
And all that she felt for you.
A new guy entered her life.
And now where are you?
Finally realizing what you had.
Suddenly struckin by the truth that she was good for you.
Now your sending her heart felt texts.
And your hoping one day she'll reply.
Look at your phone,
No new message!
Now how's that feel?
A week later
Still no reply.
You see her days later.
Her head held up high
And a smile on her face.
Denie it if you want,
But truth is
She's happier with out you

I'm Her Flaw

I can't help but to think at times.
Like I can't help but to think negative things.
My smile is positive,
But negativity roams my mind.
Your too great to me.
Making me think maybe your perfect.
But perfection doesn't exist for me.
Your mind is held right.
Your life is dealt right.
Even with the wrongs you've done.
Your life is still right.
But mines isn't.
Your independent.
And I'm still relying on others
To figure out how I'm a make my ways possible.
Once again,
I'm seen you as bein perfect.
When perfection doesn't exist to me.
The best thing I have to give you.
The best thing I can ever offer you.
Is love and time.
I can't be like them other dudes.
I can't buy you this
And I can't glam you with that.
I have nuttin to offer
But myself.
You knew I had nuttin.
You knew I was empty handed.
But you saw the sincerity in my eyes each time my heart reign'd out.
You gave me the chance to be by your side.
Despite all the 10's in your life.
You settled with a strong 7.
Regardless of the ballers surrounding you.
You choose my exact change haven ass.
I finially see a flaw within your life.
Your no longer perfect.
Your no longer a perfection in my mind.
I finially see your flaw.
Your one flaw,
Your one clear as day
Visible flaw is loving me.

RANDOMOSITY #19

Okay,
This was all outta trickery.
Honestly I'm all full of tom-fullery.
Your scratching your head and wondering
What's this all about.
Whelp I'll get to the point,
And get you out the dark.
I've just used you.
Yeah that's right
You've been used.
You've just been another body
Needed to express my sexuality.
Another body needed to meet my sexual needs.
How does that feel?
to fell victim to my games so damn quick.
It didn't take much for me to get you where I needed you.
But its a lesson learned on both our half.
You learned not to fall so quickly,
Well I think you did.
Whiles I learned that my game is surely up to par.
lol,
Its truly funny to me tho.
You were the one that said
"You'd never fall into someone's wicked games."
But here you are,
Reading the lost to your beliefs.
But don't shed a tear
Well shed a few
But don't cry for long.
You won't see me any more.
I've got what I came for.
So im out your life
And never to return

Father Her

It ain't the money I'm worried about.
It ain't me I'm concerned with.
For your sake,
And my mental note.
I've moved on
And I've surely been gone.
This situation that's at hand
Isn't about us.
But its about ours,
Our child we created.
This child you helped seeded.
Its time you take responsibility of what's right
And of what's yours.
Its time you grow up.
Its time you graduate from your child like ways,
And be accepted
And grow within your adult mentality.
Our child needs a father figure in her life.
I rather it be you,
Than lie to her
And say its some random dude.
You broke my heart
But I refuse to let you break hers.
This little girl,
My little girl is my world.
And she should be yours.
Don't neglect her
Like you did me.
Accept her.
Accept her within your world.
Accept her within your heart.
She's not only my child
But she's also yours.

RANDOMOSITY #28

It aint the money I'm worried about
It aint me I'm concerned with
For your sake
And my mental note
I've moved on
And I've surely been gone
This situation that's at hand
Isn't about us
But its about ours
Our child we created
This child you helped seeded
Its time you take resposibity of what's right
Its time you grow up
Its time you graduate from your child like ways
And be accepted
And grow within your adult mantality
Our child needs a father figure in her life
I rather it be you
Than lie to her
And say its some random dude
You broke my heart
But I refuse to let you break hers
This little girl
My little girl is my world
And she should be yours
Don't neglect her
Accept her within your world

RANDOMOSITY #29

This goes out to the father who wasn't there
Wasn't there for they're first laugh
Wasn't there for they're first birthday
Who wasn't there for they're first everything
And anything
This goes out to the father who was never here
Here to whip they're tears from a fall
Here to love them when mom wasn't around
This goes out to that father who doesn't know where his responsibility starts
But surely knows where it ends
It ends with a fatherless child
A child who ask there mother where's daddy
But never to get an answer
A child who cries at night
Thinking daddy won't be back cause they've done wrong
This goes out to that father who sees they're child
But refuses to accept them as they're own
This goes out to you
The dead beat daddies
Who will be willing to par take in the process
But fail to be there at the end results
This goes out to the father
Who won't be seen as a man
But will be seen as a boy
That boy who doesn't want to man up
Man up to his responsibilities
This goes out to the dead beat daddies

Mirror

"My reflection tells me no lie. Even tho it reflects what's on the outside. I can see the reflection of the truth that exist thru my eyes."



Okay,
So what's wrong with ya girl?
She's cute.
Gives u the space you need.
She's faithful not only to the man above but also to you.
She's given you all that you ever asked for.
In my eyes she's a great catch.
Not controlling
Nor is she overbearing.
So what's wrong with her?
You keep come'n up to me complaining about her.
But I just can't see what it is your compliaing about.
She goes to school.
She's a well minded young woman
Bound to make something of her life.
She has a job and hardly ever asks you for things.
But when you need anything she's quick to put out.
From what I've seen
She's been treating you like a king.
I'm sorry but I'm gettin envious of you now.
She's given you all that love has to offer
And what have you given her?
What have you done for her?
The most I've seen you do that's pointed towards her.
Is complain about her.
I just don't get it.
Maybe its something I'm missing.
Maybe its something I'm blocking out from my mental thinking.
You tell me exactly what it is that your complaining about.
Cause I honestly don't see anything wrong with her.
If anything,
She's too good to you.
Really she's just too good for you.
If you can look at me with all sincerity.
Even with the lies.
I'll reflect the truth to you.
And truth is,
She's just to good for you.