RANDOMOSITY YET CREATIVITY

Randomosity #58

2009-07-31T16:19:00.000-07:00

Love?
Unexpectedly,
I do.
On my mind
Every second of my life?
Its you.
Pleased to be with you.
Blessed to have you.
All that deals with you,
I entangle my self deep within.
I wrap myself
I indulge myself
In you.
Your like the rarest candy.
The sweetest treat.
Addiction wrapped up in a flawless package.
Amazing for your own good
A blessing to mines.
Criss cross my words
And they still stand strong
On describing my feelings for you

Randomosity #59

2009-07-18T16:30:00.000-07:00

How can I start this off
How can I accidentally
Stumble on to this
Knowing damn well what I'm doin
You know what I'm talking bout
This leading you on ordeal
How do I manage
To pull you in deeper
In this thing
Between us
This thing that does exist
But also doesn't
Its non existing to me
But you strive of off it
Now I shouldn't say it doesn't exist to me
Cause it does
Just not within you
I know that
But I seem to
Come by every once in a while
And make it seem as if it does
You just don't know what your doin
Words you place together
To simply describe the effects I have to you
Do I
Or don't I
Or should I say
Do I care
Or is it that I can careless?

RANDOMOSITY #48

2009-07-15T21:28:00.000-07:00

Fine than.
Go.
Go away.
Run away from what we had.
Feel no remorse
From your guilty pleasure.
You did your dirt
And you figured you'd shower your self in my tears.
Thought it'd wash away your shame,
And cleanse you from your wrongs.
But I'm as strong as stone.
A loose tear won't come from me.
So take what you came with
And make your way out the door.
And out my life.
Your lack of respect for me,
Your neglect to accepting me has proven its strength.
I was nuttin to you from the beginning
And I'm still nuttin to you now.
No gain.
No lost.
So I won't feel any pain
Cause just how I was nuttin to you.
You were nuttin to me.
Nuttin but free time.
Time that needed to be wasted.
So waste away from my life
As time fades it self by.

RANDOMOSITY #40

2009-07-15T21:26:00.000-07:00

Think the sun came out to see us today.
It heard the amount of fun we would have at night.
So it got jealous
And figured it'd come out today.
And shine brighter than usual.
It'll look pass,
Glance over,
And Peep thru
All that's in its way of us.
Just to witness you and me.
It makes me think tho.
What has the moon been telling the sun?
"They glow brighter than you.
So you may wanna show up early and see what's goin on."
Or it could be that the moons been telling the sun good things about us.
And the sun wants to shine on us
So that others can witness us.
So that we can stand visible to others.
Stand clear as day
In others views.
Show them what true joy is really about.
But I wanna know
Is the sun jealous of us?
Or is it just helping others out?

A SIMPLE WRITING

2009-07-15T21:25:00.000-07:00

She said she wants me to write about her.
She said to show her the love I have for her,
My words need to express the same as we felt
The same night we first expressed our love.
Not in the mind of love making,
But in the mental belief of falling in love.
But my words aren't strong enough to hold my feelings.
All that I'm feeling for her
Is weighing me down
And keeping me grounded.
She said she wants me to put all that within my writing.
She wants me to express all of that within words.
She wants to be able to read my heart when I'm not around.
She wants to lose her breath
And find her self in a fairy tale world
Each time she reads my writing.
I thought she was asking for too much.
I honestly thought she loved my words
More than she loved me.
So I took a piece of paper
Grabbed my pen
And went to work.
I expressed my self the best I could.
I let my heart reign out the best it could.
I gave her what I wrote.
And hoped she'd give me the answer I needed to hear.
Seconds later
She told me its the best thing I ever wrote
"I LOVE YOU"
Was all I ever wrote

GOD HELP US!

2009-07-15T21:23:00.000-07:00

God hear our cry
Were here in tough times

I can't even write any more
My mind is overflowing with unneeded
Unwanted information
God help me
God help us
I don't wanna be selfish
So aide us
Show us the light
Cause apprently for some strange reason
Even covered by your blanket of secuirty
I still feel scared
This world isn't what it use to be
People aren't what they seem to be
Words aren't what they use to mean
Not just any ole words
But yours
The words we need to abide by
The words we need to live by
Aren't any longer yours
Pastors are preaching what they want
And people are falsely beliving
This world we're living in has changed
I said it once and I'll say it again
I love this world
But I hate what its become
I pray day and night
But the devil shows his might
His strength is strong
But I know
your power is far greater
I never doubted that
My faith comes from that

This world needs your touch
This world needs your presence
In some way
Shape of any form
Come down unto us
And reform us
Rebuild us
Make us stronger to stand next to you and win this battle
We need you

Death is something we can't avoid
But should death be at others hands to choose
Should my existence be in the hands of those who lack mental strength
Or in those who find joy in others pain
I just don't understand it all anymore
Human mentalilty has changed
A child 8 months of age
Brutually raped and killed
Tear sheads down my face
What poses others to do these things
I'm afraid to enjoy life
Cause I'm afraid it'll end in someones delight

How much I may hate to say this but
God forgive us
All of us
Forgive us for the wrongs we've done
Wrongs we know and don't
Forgive us
Guide us
Cause apprently we are too deep in the darkness
We're covered in your blanket of love and secuirty
But its to dark
So we're blinded by what's right and what's wrong
Give us that aide'n hand
Lead us to your rightcious path
We can't do it alone
Help us
Please hear our prayers
Our tear filled prayers
We need you
Bless upon us
A life changing for the better mircale
In the name of jesus

Randomosity #54

2009-07-15T21:22:00.000-07:00

I wanna mark the date
When you took my breath away
But its hard to keep record
When I'm left breathless everyday
Gasping for air
To breath
I inhale every bit of your atmosphere
Sounds a bit too mushy
And kinda cliché
But truthfully
That's the effect you have on me
Weak to my knees
Butterflies deep within me
Every touch you place upon me
Sends me to a frenzy
Physic ward my ass
I've gone crazy
Take away your love
And I'll go insane
Mentally distort
Emotionally destroyed
Physically aint a thing outta place
But look deeper within me
Notice somethings missing
Silence the world
And you'll hear somethings missing
The sound of your voice
The beat of my heart
How do I live
With out my heart in me
How can I continue existing
When your not a part of me

Randomosity #56

2009-07-15T21:21:00.000-07:00

i wrote this while i was at work. people was pissin me off there so i had to go somewhere and relax and get my write on. but ummm.....yeah. pretty much here ya go

I wake up every morning
Scared to discover the truth for the day.
One truth that scares me the most
Is known that I woke up to another day.
Its a blessing
Yes
But now I'm standing in front view of the worlds cruelty and insanity.
It got me thinking,
Maybe,
Just possibly
Those who are blind
Are the lucky ones.
Unable to see the inhumanity
of those who exist directly in front of them.
They can't see what the world is tented with.
So they're eyes are free of hate
And envious destructive needs.
This is the world I'm living in,
Where I envy those who can't see.
Maybe if I'm granted this one envious need.
Than my fear of waking up every morning to face the world wouldn't be so great
But than
I wouldn't be blessed to see Gods hard work

Randomosity #57

2009-07-15T21:20:00.000-07:00

Wrote this while I was at work. I get bored easily when I'm there. Hope u all like it

Why are you crying?
Are they tears of joy?
Or tears of dismay?
Sad to see me leave
Or happy to see me pave my own ways even greater
And brighter?
Please don't cry
You've done your part
You've lead me this far
And now we must part ways
18 years of my life
You've held my hands
Now its time for you to let go
Let me hold my own hands
Allow me to discover life as I can
Just cause I'm leaving
Doesn't mean
I don't love you
I do
Trust me I do
But I'd be doin us both harm
If I decided to stay
Stayed and allowed you to pave my ways
You've seen me come from
Your baby boy
To your perfect gentleman
I have your strength
So you know I'll never fall
Bombarded with all things possible
But you know your son will never fall
I'm not built by my father
I'm molded from my mother
So you know I'm capable of them all
Everything you are
I am
And I stand strong cause of you
So don't worry about me
Know your perfect gentleman
Still your baby boy
Is all right
And its all cause of you
In four years I'll return
Its the path I've choose
Its the journey I wanted
You've protected me
Now I'll protect you
This army life
Is what I all ways wanted

Randomosity #33

2009-05-15T18:39:00.000-07:00

I'm happier with out you
But I can't live with out you
Love is interfering with my mental thinking
So I'm more than confused
When it comes to you
I'm lost in a maze
And every turn is a picture of you
Every right way leads to you
But every wrong turn ends with you
Do you see just how confused I am now?
Do you realize the extent you've taken me?
Broken hearted isn't what I'll say
Greatfully departed aint even the tip of this relationship
Or the end of it.
I love you
But we need to part ways
I hate you
But I don't want you to ever leave me
I'm just confused
And lost because of you.

FROM A CHILD

2009-05-09T09:03:00.000-07:00

You never know the struggles of the world
Until you have a child to support.
The world is no longer in your eyes when you look in the mirror.
The world is no longer on your shoulders when things get heavy.
Your world
Is in the eyes of that child.
All that you've dreamt of
Or desperately needed
Lies within that child.
A father will bare the world for his kids.
But a mothers love
Is uncompatable.
A mothers love for her child
Is second after the lord above.
A mother will go from heaven to hell,
In all ways possible
Just to make ends meet for they're child.
This world we live in
Isn't built on dreams for ones self.
Its built on the dreams
Of making things better for your kids,
And mines.
We work hard to make life better for them.
We strive even harder to make they're future seem that much brighter.

As kids we never seem to acknowledge our parents love.
As kids we feel
Over whelmed
And over protected
With this love given unto us.
But the type of love our parents grace us with.
Is the type of love we needed.
Its the type of love we need to keep us grounded.

I'm not writing this as a parent.
I'm writing this as a loved child finally acknowledging the love my
parents give to me.

Randomosity #39

2009-05-06T16:12:00.001-07:00

*SIGH*
Let's just dive into what my hearts feeling.
I don't wanna beat around the bush.
I don't wanna hold back
Or prolong things within me that needs to be put out.
I gotta let them out.
I'm a hold her hands
And stare in her eyes.
As I stutteringly spur things out.
Words that's only showing my true feelings for her.
Each word that escapes my mouth
Is carried out by the many butterflies she manages to fill me up with.
That proves that my words being said,
Truely exist within me.
I can't keep them locked in any more.
I can't overlook these feelings that continue to pile up.
Words unspoken
Are truths neglected.
Truths neglected
Is false actions expressed.

Randomosity #37

2009-05-04T20:17:00.001-07:00

I don't wanna rent you
Or own you.
But I do wanna be the one that holds every bit of info about you.
I wanna know your in's and out's
Good's and bad's.
Others will judge you for your flaws.
But I'll greatly treasure you despite your many wrongs.
There's nuttin you can tell me
That'll ever turn me away from you.
Extra sets of toes and fingers,
Misplaced or mishaped body parts,
Crazy pass,
And a police report.
What ever you can come up with
I'll stand by your side despite of it.
My words won't make since
Unless you accept my feelings.
Until you acknowledge my trust and honesty.
I feel mushy writing this
But I'm starting to feel comfortable with you.
The more I know about you
And the more you know about me
Will set me at ease around you.
So we'll take our time
And explore each others mind.

HMPH!

2009-05-01T17:36:00.001-07:00

She told me
Since its raining today.
She'll go outside
And cry her heart out.
She'll let the rain cover her tears
As her pain is finally released.
Rainy days set her at ease
Cause no one can see the pain she's been holding in that's now
finally bein released.
She let's it pile up too much.
She holds back her emotions
And refuse to let those around her in.
She's blocking the world out her life.
She barricaded her self from everyone.
So for her to shed a tear in the rain.
Is a safe bet.
Cause its the safest way for her to let go.
Let go of all the pain she feels.
Let go of all the stress she feels.
Let go of all things in plain sight.

Little did you all know,
This she
Was really a he.
Not a transgender.
Just a lil bit of hidden identity.
Cover up the truth
With a bit of reality.
Cause really,
What guy you know
Goes out in the rain to shed a tear.
So this was a cover up.
All cause
A guy can't expose his sensitivity.
Cause he fear he won't be seen
Nor accepted as a man.
So he's forced to believe that his weakness shouldn't be exposed.
His pain,
His agony,
Shouldn't be visible to those around him.
Shouldn't be seen
Nor shown to those who love him.

Alienated

2009-04-30T15:21:00.000-07:00

Things felt different.
The friendship felt iffy.
Well truth is
The friendship has all ways felt that way.
But now,
It feels like were in a new path
Walking farther away.
But its a friendship,
So It was bound to happen.
It was bound to lead this way.
But I was curious as to why.
So I had to ask her.
What's gone wrong with us?
What's gone sour in this friendship?
Simple questions I thought would be easy to answer.
I didn't know what I said wrong.
But she turned and tears started to fall.
Puzzled before
But now far fetched
And desperate for an answer.
I stood there in complete confusion.
She started to speak.
Regardless of the tears she had flowing out.

She said,
Its just that.
I love you like crazy
And I've wanted nuttin more than to be that queen by your side.
I've wanted to be your queen or even your ride or die chick.
ANYONE!
Just be by your side.
I've told you that.
I've expressed that soo many times to you.
But you just continue to push my feelings out.
You continue to push my heart out.
I painfully held my heart hoping that one day,
Someday soon.
You'd finally accept it.
But that's all came to a crashing halt.
It all came to a destructive explosion to my heart.
That day you introduced me to your new girlfriend.
Since than,
I've felt as if love betrayed me.
I felt as tho my heart just ceased to exist.
It had nuttin to beat for
And crying was the only way I could release the pain.
I'm sorry for the tears.
I'm sorry for the distance being placed between us.
But its what's best for me.
Cause you never seemed to see what was best for me.
Which was you.
But now I've got to let go.
And adjust to it all.

Randomosity #35

2009-04-30T15:20:00.002-07:00

Just cause I'm valentines less
Doesn't mean I'm heartless
I'm just loveless
No one to love for today that is
Sure I can get someone right away
But it wouldn't feel the same way
If I spent it with you today
But since I can't have my way
Since I can't be with you
Nor have you today
I'll close my eyes
And picture that we ran away
Gone for a simple getaway
Leaving everything here
As we make our way there
Where exactly?
Who knows
Any where cloud nine takes us
A make believe land
Or a reality paradise where they'll pamper us
Either way we'll be there
For valentines
We'll end up staying days longer than we should
Just us
You and me
Relaxing and spending time together as we should
To think
With out you near me
I can close my eyes
And picture us there
So for valentines day
I'll be valentines less
I'll be your unofficial valentines

Randomosity #36

2009-04-30T15:20:00.001-07:00

You see,
Now cause of you.
I'm paranoid.
I'm scared and all ways think
Am I handsome enough?
Am I smart enough?
Is my life even up to par to be excepted into someone elses life?
You honestly do not know
What you've done to me.
For years I've managed to
Hide my feelings from the world.
I've managed to keep my heartache away from others.
But I can't any longer.
This pain is just too much to handle any more.
The strongest man can't withstand the pain that exist within him.
But I try my best to over come my pain.
I do my best to try and overcome this thing for you.
I'm doing my best to overcome
All that's been brought from you.
You've done your damage.
You've surely left your mark.
I can't trust others any more.
I'm afraid to let anyone into my heart now.

RANDOMOSITY #34

2009-04-23T03:20:00.000-07:00

The things you'd do for me.
The countless amount of obstacles you'd subject your self to.
All just for me.
Makes me wonder just what would u do.
For you?
I know you care for me.
I know the boundaries
And limits you'll go for me.
But I wonder what it is you'd do for your self?
I wonder what grounds
You'll travel.
What obstacles you'll go thru
Just for your self.
I know I mean something to you.
But what do you mean to your self?
Can you love your self the same as you loved me?

Karma

2009-04-13T12:50:00.000-07:00

She's fed up.
And she's had enough.
She told you how she felt.
She gave you hints
And told you the truth on how her heart felt.
All just for you.
But you ignored her.
You gave her constant neglect on the acceptance she's been needing.
She's had enough
Of your constant disrespect
And your abusive neglect.
She opened her mouth
And you shunned her out.
She tried many times
Looking over your on slought.
But she'd had enough.
It took her long
Just to move on.
But she left you
And all that she felt for you.
A new guy entered her life.
And now where are you?
Finally realizing what you had.
Suddenly struckin by the truth that she was good for you.
Now your sending her heart felt texts.
And your hoping one day she'll reply.
Look at your phone,
No new message!
Now how's that feel?
A week later
Still no reply.
You see her days later.
Her head held up high
And a smile on her face.
Denie it if you want,
But truth is
She's happier with out you

I'm Her Flaw

2009-04-09T17:46:00.001-07:00

I can't help but to think at times.
Like I can't help but to think negative things.
My smile is positive,
But negativity roams my mind.
Your too great to me.
Making me think maybe your perfect.
But perfection doesn't exist for me.
Your mind is held right.
Your life is dealt right.
Even with the wrongs you've done.
Your life is still right.
But mines isn't.
Your independent.
And I'm still relying on others
To figure out how I'm a make my ways possible.
Once again,
I'm seen you as bein perfect.
When perfection doesn't exist to me.
The best thing I have to give you.
The best thing I can ever offer you.
Is love and time.
I can't be like them other dudes.
I can't buy you this
And I can't glam you with that.
I have nuttin to offer
But myself.
You knew I had nuttin.
You knew I was empty handed.
But you saw the sincerity in my eyes each time my heart reign'd out.
You gave me the chance to be by your side.
Despite all the 10's in your life.
You settled with a strong 7.
Regardless of the ballers surrounding you.
You choose my exact change haven ass.
I finially see a flaw within your life.
Your no longer perfect.
Your no longer a perfection in my mind.
I finially see your flaw.
Your one flaw,
Your one clear as day
Visible flaw is loving me.

RANDOMOSITY #19

2009-04-06T19:01:00.000-07:00

Okay,
This was all outta trickery.
Honestly I'm all full of tom-fullery.
Your scratching your head and wondering
What's this all about.
Whelp I'll get to the point,
And get you out the dark.
I've just used you.
Yeah that's right
You've been used.
You've just been another body
Needed to express my sexuality.
Another body needed to meet my sexual needs.
How does that feel?
to fell victim to my games so damn quick.
It didn't take much for me to get you where I needed you.
But its a lesson learned on both our half.
You learned not to fall so quickly,
Well I think you did.
Whiles I learned that my game is surely up to par.
lol,
Its truly funny to me tho.
You were the one that said
"You'd never fall into someone's wicked games."
But here you are,
Reading the lost to your beliefs.
But don't shed a tear
Well shed a few
But don't cry for long.
You won't see me any more.
I've got what I came for.
So im out your life
And never to return

Father Her

2009-04-05T15:41:00.000-07:00

It ain't the money I'm worried about.
It ain't me I'm concerned with.
For your sake,
And my mental note.
I've moved on
And I've surely been gone.
This situation that's at hand
Isn't about us.
But its about ours,
Our child we created.
This child you helped seeded.
Its time you take responsibility of what's right
And of what's yours.
Its time you grow up.
Its time you graduate from your child like ways,
And be accepted
And grow within your adult mentality.
Our child needs a father figure in her life.
I rather it be you,
Than lie to her
And say its some random dude.
You broke my heart
But I refuse to let you break hers.
This little girl,
My little girl is my world.
And she should be yours.
Don't neglect her
Like you did me.
Accept her.
Accept her within your world.
Accept her within your heart.
She's not only my child
But she's also yours.

RANDOMOSITY #28

2009-04-02T18:28:00.000-07:00

It aint the money I'm worried about
It aint me I'm concerned with
For your sake
And my mental note
I've moved on
And I've surely been gone
This situation that's at hand
Isn't about us
But its about ours
Our child we created
This child you helped seeded
Its time you take resposibity of what's right
Its time you grow up
Its time you graduate from your child like ways
And be accepted
And grow within your adult mantality
Our child needs a father figure in her life
I rather it be you
Than lie to her
And say its some random dude
You broke my heart
But I refuse to let you break hers
This little girl
My little girl is my world
And she should be yours
Don't neglect her
Accept her within your world

RANDOMOSITY #29

2009-04-02T18:27:00.000-07:00

This goes out to the father who wasn't there
Wasn't there for they're first laugh
Wasn't there for they're first birthday
Who wasn't there for they're first everything
And anything
This goes out to the father who was never here
Here to whip they're tears from a fall
Here to love them when mom wasn't around
This goes out to that father who doesn't know where his responsibility starts
But surely knows where it ends
It ends with a fatherless child
A child who ask there mother where's daddy
But never to get an answer
A child who cries at night
Thinking daddy won't be back cause they've done wrong
This goes out to that father who sees they're child
But refuses to accept them as they're own
This goes out to you
The dead beat daddies
Who will be willing to par take in the process
But fail to be there at the end results
This goes out to the father
Who won't be seen as a man
But will be seen as a boy
That boy who doesn't want to man up
Man up to his responsibilities
This goes out to the dead beat daddies

Mirror

2009-04-02T18:10:00.001-07:00

"My reflection tells me no lie. Even tho it reflects what's on the outside. I can see the reflection of the truth that exist thru my eyes."

Okay,
So what's wrong with ya girl?
She's cute.
Gives u the space you need.
She's faithful not only to the man above but also to you.
She's given you all that you ever asked for.
In my eyes she's a great catch.
Not controlling
Nor is she overbearing.
So what's wrong with her?
You keep come'n up to me complaining about her.
But I just can't see what it is your compliaing about.
She goes to school.
She's a well minded young woman
Bound to make something of her life.
She has a job and hardly ever asks you for things.
But when you need anything she's quick to put out.
From what I've seen
She's been treating you like a king.
I'm sorry but I'm gettin envious of you now.
She's given you all that love has to offer
And what have you given her?
What have you done for her?
The most I've seen you do that's pointed towards her.
Is complain about her.
I just don't get it.
Maybe its something I'm missing.
Maybe its something I'm blocking out from my mental thinking.
You tell me exactly what it is that your complaining about.
Cause I honestly don't see anything wrong with her.
If anything,
She's too good to you.
Really she's just too good for you.
If you can look at me with all sincerity.
Even with the lies.
I'll reflect the truth to you.
And truth is,
She's just to good for you.

SHE INTIMIDATES ME

2009-03-30T18:22:00.000-07:00

I'm searching to find what lies inside her mind.
I'm willing to learn her pass,
Live in her present,
And aide her in her future.
But the more she speaks
The more she paints this picture.
This picture In which she envisions her self in.
And I just can't help but to think,
Where can I exist in her views?
Her dreams aren't dreamt
When she's asleep.
Her dreams are steadly bein molded
As she strives thru her days.
Her dreams is her reality.
Never once bein her fictional story.
All's While my dreams
And my goals
Have been on a stand still.
I can't picture my life coinciding with hers.
My thoughts are vandalized with her,
But I just can't see myself bein that great man by her side.
I can see myself as bein the good guy in her life,
But she doesn't need a good guy.
She needs a well minded man.
A man that can provide for her in all means and ways needed,
And necessary.
That's the kinda man she needs.
That's the type of man she deserves.
But I can't be that man right now.
I'm still that good guy trin to better his life.
I'm still that good guy with my eyes closed
At a frozen stand still dreaming of my life.
But she intimidates me.
She pushes me to make something of my life.
She wakes me from my dreams
And brings me back to reality.
She pushes me to bring my dreams into my reality.
She see's that man in me.
She pushes me to be who I've all ways wanted to be.
she pushes me to be who I need to be.
SHE SEES THAT MAN IN ME!
So I'll paint this picture of her and me.
Create a beautiful portrait of our dreams finially coinciding.
Live our dreams together in reality

RANDOMOSITY #20

2009-03-30T17:38:00.000-07:00

She changed me into who she wanted
Into who she needed.
I was her creation,
But when I turn to face her.
She turns away.
Doesn't she love me?
Didn't she love me?
I'm what she created
so I figured she'd love me.
But that's turned into a fictious belief.
I'm roaming a world cold and alone.
This heartache hurts more than I'd expect it to.
It feels like an empty void.
I wonder if my heart even exist any more.
I'm thinkin maybe she got it
She up and left with it.
Its a possibility right?
Just lie to me and say she did.
It'd be easier for me to except
rather than me make belive'n my hearts in a strangers hands.
I rather it be her
despite all the neglects
And the constant abuse's from her

"Love distorts my mental thinking and creates this void deep within me. Maybe its you I need to complete me. Don't neglect me, you have the pieces needed to complete me"

RANDOMOISTY #21

2009-03-26T17:37:00.001-07:00

Never give me the least amount.
Give me all you got.
I'll pay what I gotta pay
I'll do what I gotta do
I'll gladly over dose
and pass out from too much love.
Cause secretly
I got her face tattooed on the back of my eye lids.
So even with my eyes closed
She excites me and thrills me
She's like my natural high
I can't ever get enough of her.
She's addictive in all and any ways possible.
From her Lips to finger tips
Tiny toes to curly eye lashes
Her dandruff to dead skin cells.
I love them all
and I'll collect them all.
Sounds physicotic and all
but that's how she gets me.
Insane in the membrane.
The asylums can't help me.
Prayer can't bring me back to my normal self.
Even if it did
She's my natural high
So I'd float back up
Soar pass cloud nine
Probly get God mad or make him jealous
Cause I'd zoom pass heaven
With my eyes closed
Not looking back
Cause I'm more focused on trin to reach her
But she's tattooed on my eyelids so she's never reached
But I love the thrill
And the feel she gives
So I won't complain one bit
Give me another ounce
Shit puff puff pass
I'd be the one to take the longest pull

RANDOMOSITY #13

2009-03-21T11:59:00.001-07:00

I wonder sometimes,
Like I actually sit and think.
As to where and possibly how
Our relationship got this way.
I feel as if I'm not wanted for what I should be wanted for.
I feel as if I'm bein used for other needs and wants.
Straight to the point,
I feel as if I'm your bank.
Instead of earning your love.
I feel as tho I'm buying into your every demands.
Is it me you love
Or is it the money I seem to provide for your every desires?
Am I truely yours with no strings attached
Or am I just your WaMu bank?
Instead of mutual feelings to aide me in seeking knowledge as to where we are.
I'm providing you with mutual fundings to please your addictive wants and needs.
Money is more invested in our relationship than love is.
But here's a point I've realized.
Love does coincide in our relationship.
That's the love I have for you and to continue to have just for you.
Than its the love you have for me that exist thru money.

Guess that belief of "cash rules everything around me" Is true. Your love for me is ran by an ignitable material. No matter how much of it I throw in, It just fails to ignite the right way I need it to

RANDOMOSITY #17

2009-03-17T20:31:00.001-07:00

I gotta get away from you.
I have to stop thinking of you.
Its not that I don't love you,
Its not that my world wasn't built for two.
Its just that
I need to worry more about me
And less about you.
I wanna please you
And excite you
In all things that I do.
And that's just my problem.
I'm faced with just you
And not me.
My life revolves around you.
I love you
But I'm finally realizing
Just what I have to do.
I have to let go of you
And maybe possibly just stop loving you.
My heart doesn't want to,
But Its something that I have to do.
No more trying to excite you,
And trying to please you.
Its all about me
And very little about you

RANDOMOSITY #16

2009-03-14T16:48:00.000-07:00

THIS IS A SHORT ONE. JUST HAD TO EXPOSE MY SELF FOR A BIT

I wanna romance you thru the day
and protect you thru the night.
No lust in my thoughts
but love thru my actions.
Lust and love.
Two affectionate words,
Easily misunderstood as the wrong terms.
Lusting needs aren't within me,
Loves abilities strike fear thru me.
Not known which one these chicks see within me
Frightens me.
I don't know if its love that they've found in me
Or if its just lust they franticly seek.

interracial?

2009-03-09T17:28:00.001-07:00

this one was given me hella problems. so F it. im done with it. i'll revise it some other time. for now its stayin like this. what ya think of it tho?

I wonder why they stare at us
Or more so at me?
I'm thinking maybe they're envious
Or possibly just jealous of what I have.
I'm trin to come up with reasons.
And trin to think up of faulty facts to belive in.
All to understand as to why we get so much attention.
I know the truth doesn't exist in none of the lies.
But still I try to hide
And disguise the truth with those lies.
Now,
Don't get me wrong,
Don't take me as a fool.
I know the truth despite all the lies I barricade my self deep within.
The truth is,
They stare at me
And wonder about you.
They have hatred against me
And petty for you.
They'll look at me as scum
And take you as a hostage within my hold.
See it really isn't much about you,
Its much more about me.
My thoughts,
My actions,
And choices.
Its the fact that
Your white and I'm black.
Two colors from history's pass that never seemed to combine right.
Its the view of 2 colors that never collided right,
That's Finally coinciding perfectly together
And seen as an equal.
"YOU'LL GET NOOSED!"
A joke thrown from the mouth of friends
Probly an idea and a gesture wanting to be done by strangers.
Our love is like a Shakespeare story.
You know the one I'm talking about.
Romeo and Juliet.
Found by love but destroyed by others hatred.
A Fairy tale beginning just with a Newark new jersey ending.
Its our reality story
Based from a fictional story.
We'll start like they did,
But we surely won't end the way they have.
See, no matter the amount of hate against us
There's a love they won't ever get to.
There's a love they won't ever reach.
Our love won't ever get effected by them.
But I'm starting to think It isn't us they hate.
It isn't the black and white
Racial relationship were in.
Its the love it self they hate.
Its the love we have that they envy.
Society is just jealous of us really.
But honestly,
Despite they're jealousy.
No matter what form of way they come at us.
Nutting can tear you away from me.

RANDOMOSITY #10

2009-03-05T16:37:00.001-08:00

Create in me a new man.
Now not in the biblical since.
But in a gentleman's demeanor.
Create in me a close to perfect man.
Knowledgeable enough to seek the right wisdom
Needed to understand society,
And reject poverty
For me and those around me.
Create in me a man with abilities
Needed to care for others
And Needed to build a family.
Create in me a man with great abilities
To trust and love another honestly.
Create in me a better me.
Give me strength to break out my shell.
Help me discover a me that's been hidden away from societies views,
But most importantly my owns.
Aid me in searching for that untouched
Never tempered with
Joseph that exist deep within me.
I have a fear of bein myself.
I'm scared to discover the truth Of
who I am,
Or who I should be.
Help me find me.
Help me discover me.
Create within me a new man.

RANDOMOSITY #11

2009-03-02T16:12:00.001-08:00

I WAS OUT WITH MY BOYS AND WAS HAVE'N SOME DRINKS AND END'D UP WRITINGS THIS. I ONLY EDITED JUST ONCE. EVERYTHING IS JUST HOW IT WAS WHEN I WAS DRINKIN. AND I WAS NICE DURING IT. LOL. HOPE YOU ALL LIKE

Even tho I'm intoxicated (I'm not gonna lie)
My thoughts are soberly picturing you.
Your shown perfectly in my mind
With out an once of distortion.
See I was trin to write something where I can go back and sound like jamie foxx
And just say "blame it on the alcohol"
But I can't
No matter what I drink or
How much I drink.
Your picture is perfectly clear.
Our memories,
Or the lil bit that exist deep in my mind,
Are vividly crystal clear.
Lol, I wish I could some how
Take this ability you have within me.
Bottle it up
Or collapse it up in a pill.
And sell it as the drunk free pill.
But I can't.
So I'd have to say
This feeling I have for you is strangely unique.
This is spoken from a drunk mind with a sober heart.

RANDOMOSITY #9

2009-02-26T19:14:00.000-08:00

Since I seen you
I've all ways wanted to...
Take a walk in the beach
And let the stress's of life escape us,
As we frolic in the sand
And play in the ocean
Without an once of care in us.
We'll try our best to scribble our names in the sand
Just before the sea and time takes it away.
Since I seen you
I've decided to be a better man.
No more kiddish games,
Or tierd lies.
I never wanted to hold up your life
So I made a change in mines.
Since I seen you
I've been trin to
Freeze time
And exist in that exact momment
When our lives coincided.
But now I'm love'n every momment we share
And every second we have together.
Since I seen you,
I've realized.
My world has gotten so much better
And my soul is back to normal.
But my heart is at a irregular beat.
A heart murmur if that's what u wanna call it.
Its beatin to a new
Unheard of rythem.
I love you too much
To seek medical help for it.
I love this beat my heart makes for you
Its Rarely unique
And describes you and me just perfectly : )

RANDOMOISTY #8

2009-02-22T11:05:00.000-08:00

My hearts on my sleeves,
But I'm afraid of love.
I'll roll up my sleeves,
And make it harder for them to reach.
I'll make it a challenge for them to obtain my sacred treasure,
And gain control over me.
Don't hate me.
And don't frown upon me.
For my thoughts and actions,
Are methods of protection.
Something some people fail to belive in.
If my vulnerability is to be placed on my sleeves
Out in the open.
For anyone to violate and/or demean.
Than I'll take drastic measures
And protect my vulnerability at any and all means necessary

RANDOMOSITY #2

2009-02-18T04:48:00.000-08:00

I wish you could see what I see.
I wish you could feel the exact same way as I do.
I wish you'd settle in your mind these feelin's I've been presenting you.
I'll never run out of love for you.
I'm built with trust and honesty.
So trust me when I honestly display my heart to you.
Your my world,
Let me repeat that again.
YOUR MY WORLD!
And I will never stray you wrong.
You'll never be left in the dark,
Lost and alone.
I love you.
So I'll never do you wrong.
I need you to understand me.
I need you to belive me.
And I need you to love me.
I understand others have done you wrong.
And I know your hearts been thru so much.
I cant go back and change your pass,
I'm sorry for that.
And apologize for others doings.
But I'm greatfull for there childish ways.
For It would of never brought you to me.
I vow to never do you wrong,
I swore to appreciate you
For you.
And cherish you like never before.
I'll never go back on my words.
All because
I love you.
But it seems my words are never heard.
My words just seem to echo out.
My emotions are yet to be received.
My love is yet to be accepted.
Yet to be understood.
My love goes unnoticed
And left for dead

VALENTINES

2009-02-12T20:15:00.000-08:00

Its Feb. 14th,
A day of love.
A time we both live for.
Our minds full of thoughts.
So we express our minds thru our hearts.
I remember last year you gave me simplicity at its best form.
Priceless from your pocket,
But costly to my heart.
You excite me in more ways possible.
Last year was your year to shock and amaze me.
This year is my time to shine.
This year I'm taken your breath away.
Each and everyday,
In so many ways.
I'm taking your breath away.
This year will start a new begin'n of our new life.
For valentines day I'm asking you to be my wife.
I wanna be the prince you all ways dreamt of.
I wanna be the guy you pictured that all ways stole your heart.
I'm more than your friend,
And wanna be accepted as more than a partner.
I'm on one knee
Asking you to trust me.
Needing you to love me.
Feb. 14th 2003
Starts a new me.
A new you.
A brand new us.
So I'm asking you,
Will you be my wife?

I reread this poem countless times. Still remembering the first time I ever feel in love with you. Our love continues to grow so I'm reminded everyday of our love. You see, no matter the distant. No matter the circumstance between us. There's still a love that we'll have. Even with you gone. There's still that love that continues to build and grow within me for you. I'll cherish you till forever turns into eternity. I'll love you till eternity is extinguished with the lies of never. I'm finding ways to where I'll never let you go. Physically I've lost you but mentally your closer to me than you ever was. I love you and will all ways love you.

2/13/03
They said your heart failed to beat.
You never woke up from your slumber of peace.
My symbolism of love
I'll place beside your feet.
Hope'n someday soon
I'll resume my position on one knee.
Asking you to spend an eternity with me.
2/14/09
These feeling's still reside,
And just continue to intensify.
Soon someday,
In the eyes of God.
We'll reunite
And for the first time.
Be seen as husband and wife.

*hope you all got the concept i was trin to show for this. its as if the person pass'd away. hope i did good with it. lol*

RANDOMISTY #4

2009-02-10T19:13:00.000-08:00

okay so this one i wrote in one day bored as crap at work. its not my actual Valentines Day poem. thats come'n soon =) (still thinkin if i should put up my other one that i sent to some people. *THINKIN*)

Breakfast................................................check
Shopping at the mall bright and early....................check
Lunch at your favorite place to eat......................check
Few hours at the spa.....................................check
A night time boat cruise around New York ................check

Some how find'n the funding for today? A possibility that's hard to grasp. I wanna show you the glamourous parts in life. But I don't want money to be the main source of how I can show you my love and affection for you. All that I have mentioned are things I wanna provide to you. I wanna show you that my love for you has no limitations and no type of boundaries. I wanna show you that even money it self isn't an option nor is it a flaw within our love. I just don't want money to be all that I rely on to show my love to you. I wanna be originally unique and one of a kind. I need feelings from my heart to reign out in its own way for you. In some kind of way I'll find a way to expose my heart to you. In some kinda confusing unheard of way, I will show you that this love I'm have'n for you is true and genuine.

RANDOMOISTY #1

2009-02-04T17:12:00.000-08:00

SO BASICALLY I HAVE, WELL PROBLY HAVE, A.D.D. CAUSE I WAS WRITING A NEW POEM OR WRITING WHAT EVER YOU WANNA CALL IT. AND I GOT OFF TRACK AND WROTE THIS INBETWEEN THE WRITING I HAD ALL READY. SHIT THREW ME OFF COURSE. BUT HERE YOU ALL GO. O AND I'LL PROBLY POST UP MY VALENTINES JOINT UP NEXT NEXT WEEK. LOL, LIKE AFTER VALENTINES DAY

All that we had before
Escapes us.
We're allow'n new feelin's to find us.
New feelin's that should
Or shouldn't exist between you and I.
We left our humble home,
And our corrective path of friendship.
To pursue the possibility
Of a relationship.
Are we wrong to chase a dream?
We are living in a world built on dreams.
So are we wrong for following our dreams?
I'm starting to belive that
my dreams aren't fictional thoughts.
My dreams are my true thoughts.
Placed perfectly together to show my true feelin's for you.
Right now my dreams are memories.
Memories sent back from the future
To provide me with proof.
Proof that we'll soon be an existence.
Its the truth I've been looking for.
And Its the truth I've been waiting for
And surely that's the only truth I'm stickin with :)

LOVE IT

2009-02-01T18:51:00.000-08:00

MY BOY POSTED THIS UP. I'M LOVE'N THIS VIDEO SO MUCH. I HAVE TO WRITE SOMETHING ABOUT IT SOON. REAL SOON. BEST VIDEO I EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE

Arrêtons la douleur / Stop the Pain
Uploaded by ViaMedia

THE LIST

2009-01-30T22:13:00.000-08:00

The list:
-Great personality

-Funny

-Knows when to get serious

-Care'n

-Respectful of herself and others

-Smart

-Knows how to defend her self

-Got a job-Drives

-Well educated

-Stubborn

-Aggressive, but not to aggressive

-Short, but not to short

-Pretty eyes

-Sexy body (in my eyes)

-Smart mouth'd (lol, need someone to slick me out)

-Love kids

-Knows what she want's in life

-Independent, but not too independent

-Cheap. Lol, meanin she knows how to manage her money, doesn't need anything expensive

-Someone I could have fun hang'n around with 24/7 and never get tierd of her

-Capable of keepin me in check

-Capable of understand'n my strange, creative, missunderstood world

-Helpful

-Love and trust and belives in the man above

-Wierd and goofy like my self :)

-Lovable

-Huggable

-She has to understand that I would never ever NEVER EVER do her wrong. Dispite what may come into my life with her, she has to understand and know that I'll never cheat or hit her. She's my queen and I'm a treat as such

-Can understand my problems and able to comfort me the best she could

-Not afraid to tell me when I'm in the wrong

-Not annoyin and won't nag and complain bout the lil things

-She has to be able to trust me. Trust is the biggest thing for me. I also have to be able to trust her. With out trust what's a relationship?

-Has to be completely honest with me even if what she has to tell me is gonna hurt me. Honesty is another must have in a relationship

-Need her to be not so damn needie and wantsie

-Capable of known the power and control she has on me but never takes advantage of it

-She has to be her self. Doesn't care bout fittin in with this crowd or that crowd

-she has to be able to bore into my heart and latch on and never EVER let go

Welp this is pretty much my list. Everything in which I'm in search for in the opposite sex. Time to time I think maybe I'm just askin for WAY to much or maybe I'm just bein picky with whom I'm in search for. But shouldn't you be picky like this? Lol, I mean your searchin for someone your gonna spend your LIFE with shouldn't you be picky to find your mrs. Right? I know I'm not perfect and I know well enough she isn't gonna be perfect. But together we can be the best imperfection ever seen. I'm a sucker for love. When I love someone I LOVE that person and only that person. I'm also hella mega shy when I come to that person. Like EXTREMLY SHY towards them. But I try not to act shy only cause I wanna expose my true self to them and be comftable infront of them. I'm a nerd, dork, cornball, goofball, lil kid, etc. I have one of the slickest mouth you've ever heard. I'm cocky at times (only when I have to be). I can stand my own ground but I rather have someone I can have to stand strong with me (NOW THAT'S LOVE). I've been hurt a lot of times just like anyone else. I learn from them. And yes, sadly I've hurt others. Truely sorry for that. I have a HUGE BIG HEART but people don't know it cause of my stubborn ways. What more can I say? I'm care'n, trust worthy, honest, creative, smart, handsome, capable of listen'n to your problems and give you a response. I actually do listen to everything you could ever say. I am truely one of a kind. One of few, very few. Don't know what else to say.....but if I seem like what you've been lookin for hit me up :). Belive me there's a lot about me that close to no one knows about. And if you have the qualities that I'm in search of. PLEASE send me a clue cause I be completely lost when it comes to things like this. Lol, funny but true

*P.S.*

Think my new note "THE LIST" is touchin more minds and hearts than I think it would. I never thought that I could have effect on people thru my true thoughts and feelin's I want to have, or better yet, feelin's I need to have for someone. I'm happy and glad that my insights of what I'm in search for is touchin you all in a insparational (spelt it wrong) way. But that's not what I want'd it to do. I want'd it to open ya minds up to the real true features we all need to find in someone. When I said I truely open'd myself up a lil to write this, and express my feelin's out there for you all to read and understand. I really did. Don't get inspire'd to write ya own list, don't tell me I'm a good writer. Tell me that I've gotten the right idea by showin, well trin to show the world what people need to find in the opposite sex. So what is it that we need, what is it that we search for in someone? Hopefully what I've stated in my list is at least the same kinda list people are followin to find they're siggnificant other. But hey, what do I know. I'm merely a young man throwin in the world in search of a four letter word in someone hidden behind others who wanna slow me down and corrupt me. But my strentgh in find'n her is to strong to let me give up and lose

Insecurity

2009-01-26T16:21:00.000-08:00

I saw her,
And I knew she saw me.
Our eyes caught path,
So I knew she saw me.
Words wasn't expressed,
But some how feelings developed.
I had the perfect time to approach her,
I had more than enough time to capture her time.
For once in life,
With out begging,
Time fell on my hands.
For once in life,
Time was on my side.
But fear took over all my hearts plans.
I thought I had this,
Thought I'd go to her,
Resemble more than any guy she's ever seen.
Present myself as a gentleman,
A man sent to throne her,
And pamper her.
Not a players mentality,
But a loving hearts needs to please.
I didn't want to waste her time with lies.
I really wanted to convey my heart to her.
I wanted to show her I thought of her.
Not with my head that grows with uncertainty,
But with my head that continues to replay her image.
Unless you haven't noticed,
My fears allowed her to slip out my world.
Faith allowed us to cross paths,
And if meant to be we'll cross over that path once again.
But just like alot of people in the world,
I can't wait.
I thought I'd ask time to speed up faiths abilities,
Thought time was on my side.
Time was on my hand,
Time agreed to stand still to bask within her presence before.
But now that I let her leave,
Now that I allowed my fears to control me,
Time doesn't shed a care for me.
Not an ounce of care,
And concern.
Sad thing is,
I understand its reasons.
I fell victim to my fears
Countless times.
I'm vulnerable to my fears.
*HMPH*
Maybe some day I'll overcome this.
God willing some day soon,
I won't be holdin my tongue,
Bite'n my lips,
Concealing my thoughts and emotions.
Some day soon,
Fear of rejection and others that follow,
Won't hold me back.
Maybe that'll be the day she comes back.

NEED A TITLE

2009-01-23T17:51:00.000-08:00

I NEED A TITLE =(
Maybe I'm just not who you want.
Maybe I'm just not who you need.
Maybe I'm just a mock image of someone who's meant for you.
I'm just a subsititue of someone your in search of.
Instead of trin'n to be who I need to be,
Who I HAVE to be.
I'm trin to be who you think you need.
I'm not who I wanna be.
*TISK* but hey,maybe
I'm just fooling myself,
It could be I enjoy hurting myself.
Known that I'm not who I should be,
Cause I'm trin to be who you need.
All just to please you.
Its crazy!
I love you,
And.........
I wanna be everything you need.
But.........
I'm drifting farther away
From who I have to be.
I've disguised who I am,
And I've cloaked myself perfectly from the world.
I've turned my life into a magic show,
And I've turned myself into
An identity that falsely exist
Within my mind
And within yours.
But......
love......,
This love Is confusing.
Possibly damaging
Or plainly severely damaged.
See your my means of existence,
My reason to inhale and exhale.
My main reason to think and act
Act and think.
Make moves around the world
To better our world.
Your my world,
And damn sure my everything.
But your sudden needs
And all your drastic wants,
To change me!!?
Questions your heart
To me.
Is it ME
You want
Or a willing
Participating
Canvas of love to mold?

"It isn't that you fail to appreciate who I am. Its just I've accepted your neglection so much that I've forgotten just who I am and who I truly need to love the most"

WHAT IS LOVE?

2009-01-19T16:38:00.000-08:00

Your trin to avoid what the heart tells you. But your brain is liven from your hearts impulse's. So its hard to avoid what the heart is feeling when each beat of your heart sends out constant thoughts of the thing your trin to avoid and or forget. So your basically living from your hearts desires. The hearts desire to be need'd and wanted. The heart doesn't want to be loved any more. The heart isn't in search of love any more. To be ridiculed and mock'd by views of love and mock'd emotions all from the search of love. The heart simply doesn't search for it any longer. A sacred treasure, a pleasing thought of just bein needed and wanted now settles the heart better than what love could do for it.

Is it better to be needed and wanted rather than to be just simply loved? Why is it that the concept of accepting love triggers more than it ought to? Why is it that this whole love thing is turn'n into a native language to us all?

That's what I'm starting to belive now tho. That love is turn'n into a native language that we'll never seem to understand properly. One term of love that we only seem to understand and accept (at times) is Gods love for us. But I can't really put Gods love for us into the same category as love it self is in. God loves us more than we belive. If you think I'm lie'n about that, than ask your self "how do I continue to wake up each day" or "how am I able to breath each second" you see Gods love for us isn't just love it self. Heck, we don't even call it love. Gods love for us is call'd agape. That type of love he has for us and in us is greater than that a mother has for her first new only born child, a young man with his dream car, a crackhead with his crack, a hustla for his money. Gods love is extremely complex, only cause we've never had this love, we've never felt this type of love for our selves to explain it to others. In a sense, in my belief, I think its a good thing we can't love the way God does. If we were given that chance, that ability to love the same way God loves us, what kinda crazy miss understood situations could we and or WILL we put our selves into?

Which brings me back to the point I wanted to ask. Why can't we truthfully love rather than falsely present our selves as bein in a mock understandment of love. Has me start thinkin, what is love? There's so many false accusations of knowing what love is but one never seems to be the right one. So, WHAT IS LOVE?

?

2009-01-18T13:55:00.000-08:00

"theres plenty of fishes in the sea. With my heart on the line and time on my side. I'll cast out my line and wait, only praying she'll be mines"

I'll tell the truth, I LOVE to be romantic, I'd love nutting more than to really just lay in bed and cuddle and watch chick flick movies and hear you breath every second of the day. Simple things are all I need to know you truthfully care and love me as I do for you. Acknowledgement of my heart my love and my affection for you will surely be placed out for the world to see. I'm only hope'n you'll take in each and every single last one. I'm not the best guy out there, I aint the handsomest, sharpest, strongest, etc. guy you'll come across. But all that shouldn't matter, all of that nonsense and tom foolery shouldn't even be what you judge me by. Many people luck out on the greatest person on earth all cause they judge the book by the cover. I'm just really asking you to open me up and love me for the words that are imprinted on each and every one of my pages. I just need you to appreciate every crucial sentence that lies within me. Love me for me and not for what you decide to see. I don't have nutting on the line but my heart full of love. Don't take my love for granted. Don't accept my affection as a form of lustness needs. Sex is the last thing that excites my mind body and soul. Physical acceptance are nice, simple touches, gentle kiss's, breath taking caresses from ya hair to ya toes. Massages to relax ya body mind and soul. Never getting to sexual. There's more to a relationship than sex and that's where I need ours to be. I wanna be 80 years old and still find ways to ignite that special fire within our love. 80 years old and I wanna take you to place's kids in they prime would go. In all to show my affection for you. The things I say will all ways seem too mushie to others but to the right eyes the right mind my words will mean something. To the right one my words will build a bridge connecting our hearts. To the right one the thoughts I've composed will unite our minds to the point where words will never be said. We won't have a plagiarized love but a copyrighted love, affection, and devotion for each other

Lost

2009-01-18T13:46:00.000-08:00

Don't think for a min that I never love'd you

Cause each second of my life was all for you

I love'd you

Care'd for you

Adore'd you

All that need'd to be with you I did

I did all I could to show you my love

I show'd you in more than a million ways

I could love you

I prove'd my self to you

I prove'd my love for you to the world

Not once did they ever doubt my love

Not once did anyone ever question my love

They knew it was you and I

I and you

1+1=1 to represent us

The whole world saw it

The universe knew it

But.....

But now, what happen'd to it?

What happen'd to us?

Our created perfect world now fades

You and I fell apart

No longer is it me and you

You and I

I and you

1+1=2

WHAT?

Our perfect math makes no since!

And it breaks my heart

I'm left alone lost and confuse'd

I don't wanna ask why

But how else am I to find the answer's

What did I do?

What can I do?

What should I do?

I don't know what to do

I'm lost and confuse'd

I NEED you but.......

I LOVE you but.......

UGH!

It sounds like I'm in love with the second thoughts

Its like I'm fallen in love with the doubts

I love you?........

Those simple words bring so much to me

Memories of you and I
Constant thoughts of us

Still filters my mind

I want you but I can't have you

I have you but I don't want you

Its so confuse'n to me

I'm so lost in this term of love

I'm old enough to understand it

But I'm to young to comprehend it

I'm stuck in this confusion

More or less

I'm lost in love from confusion

I don't know how to end this now

So I'll just leave it at that

Created

2009-01-18T13:37:00.000-08:00

She said, the only reason why she love'd me

Was cause I was empty

She knew I was nuttin inside

All body no emotions

Nuttin to want

Nuttin to love

She took hold of me

Held me

And mold'd me

Into someone she want'd

Into her very own lil creation

I was her perfect clay mold'n of a man

Perfect in every way for her

PersonalityQuailities

Features that completes her

I was everything she ever want'd

I was all she ever needed

I was who she created

But something happen'd

Somewhere between night and day

Day and night

The creator some how mess'd up the created

Instead of create'n for her self

She created someone they all were in search for

She fail'd to tag me as her own

Left me in the jungle to roam

She left me in a world where perfection is never seen

She left me in a world where perfection is a mere dream

She left me in a world fill'd with fien's

Fien'n for what she created

A perfect creation of a male spiece's

Never before seen

Only thought and belive'd

It could be all found in a dream

Now that they've witness'd and seen

The dream of a perfect aspect of a male bein

Does exist in a world built on dreams

Now she's sad to see

How the world fill'd with fiens

Have devoured her creation

Built from her dreams

Bipolar Love

2009-01-18T13:30:00.000-08:00

I love you, I love you not

I can stand you, but I can't put up with you
I have endless amount of thoughts of you, but I can't stand to think of you

I need you, but I don't want you

I want you but I don't need you

I need what I want and I want what I need

I can't stand this strong desire to want you, when I know I truly need you

I love you, I love you not

I'll go thru all the petals in the world to find my answer

Pluck by pluck

Wish by wish

Luck by luck

I'll end up with the finale petal that'll answer me truly

I love you, I love you not

She loves me, she loves me not

Maybe I should resort to the old times

Scribble down "do you like me? Circle yes or no"

Fold it up one to many times

Than slip it to her when no ones watching

Bring it back to those kiddie times

Like back in 4th grade

The first time I saw you

The first time we saw us!

Me playin fall ball with the boys

You double dutchin with your clique

I bumped into you by mistake

Or at least I told you my actions weren't intentional

Exchange of kiddish words roamed out

Expressions of unknowledgeable love shown out

We were kids but things brewed up just right for us

I love you, I love you not

She loves me, she loves me not

She does or maybe not

No chance or maybe I stand a shot

I love you, I love you not

Honesty Box

2009-01-18T13:20:00.000-08:00

Lets reveal what we desperately hold back
Lets wander thru our minds
Find hidden thoughts and emotions
We lock deep with inLets not hold things back
Help me expose myself to you
I'm willing to give you my all
Only if your given me that thought of interest
Lets build what we have goin on stronger
Put our hearts together With no hidden exceptions
Lets not lie
Deceive each others minds
Compromise the things we have
No foolish ties to destroy us
I want to intertwine deep within your mind
Allow you full access within my mines
Discover all that we want to know
And more of what we need to know
I don't wanna hold anything back from you
I don't want there to be a time in our life
Where our pass can hurt us
Ask me questions
Ask me those questions
You couldn't ask anyone else
Expose the truth and wisdom
You couldn't find anywhere else
Dig deeper than you've ever done
For anyone else
I don't wanna keep secrets from you
And I don't want you to keep them from me
Truly
Honestly
Faithfully
Loyalty

Black ♂ Figure

2008-12-22T19:02:00.000-08:00

I'm a young black male with dreams, goals, and potential. Potential to over come any obsticale society has to throw at me. I'm placed in this world for a reason. Reason bein? Thats still unknown, but I have great trust within my lord to let me know its for a great reason. To often are my fellow male compadres turn'd down and destroyed by societies views of a black male. To often we are judge'd not by the intellect we poses but by the color of our skin we reflect. To them we are the creator of sinful wants and needs. We are the focal point of all things wrong. They are force'n us to belive that because of us we have hatred amongst this world. Will I for one fail to belive that. I for one refuse to be torn down and broken down by they're false views of a young black male. I neither need nor shall I ever have to sale drug, rob, shoot and/or possibly kill another to make ends meet. You see the views of a black male as reached its limit. They view us as thugs, slums, slackers, dead beats, liars, etc. They are willing to accept us as such but never anything in a positive view. I refuse to be seen as what the world wants me to be. I'm a expose myself as a new male figure. I'm a take a stand at what matters to me the most. My dreams, my goals, and my thoughts of become'n and or bein the greatest potential this world needs. I'm a out define the definition of a black male.